Girl Talk
I lie in the bunk, listening.
They share chatter like childhood
toys: XL hoodies and their boyish smells,
soap operas, country singers' hometowns,
always stories heated over in the microwave.
My shirt drips outside with lake water.
My shoes are breaking, holing up
in strange places. Tucking into my sheets,
I avoid a whiff of coconut passion. Mike
is carved into my bedpost with Lauren
Loves Davie. The firewood still burns
under my fingernails, sticky like smores.
Christine,
ReplyDeleteI find this free write entry particularly interesting because of its originality, ingenuity, and inventiveness. Within this text, as a reader, I gather very clear descriptions of concrete-specific imagery, and also the many different scene depictions described by the narrator. I really like how you begin the first stanza as a type of introduction, without being too 'prosy'. I also feel as if the first stanza acts as a nice segue into your following stanza, the stanza in which our narrator really unfold and spills bits-and-pieces of "girl talk", and life at a type of summer camp. I do, however, wish there were more to this draft. I wouldn't mind knowing more information, more imagery, more about the people and the places within the last stanza. I also would like to know more about 'girl talk', and why this particular girl talk is different from other girl talk, etectera.