Comment on Mackenzie's "Free Write Week 4"

I really like a lot of the images in this (e.g., "face like a Michigan / icicle", "skin / draped across the bones like a circus tent"). I think the last line can be cut out, though--it includes the abstraction of "brave" and can be communicated with the present imagery. I would love to see a little more detail put into the "tiny city inside, abandoned / by the poachers." This draft has a great narrative to it, but I think that it can maybe be trimmed down a little bit.